Changing of the Guard

I enjoyed a mini-revelation the other day as I was reading through a new book, It Came from Within, and praying afterwards. I love those "Aha!" moments from God. Makes me feel silly that I didn't realize it sooner, but glad that He's patient to teach me just the same.

For many years now, I have always felt challenged by the proverb found in Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." I took the words very seriously, and for whatever reason immediately equated the scripture in the context of relationships. I saw it as a charge to stay emotionally, as well as physically pure when dealing with relationships with the opposite sex, and to not pursue those arenas until God so directed and clearly revealed that this was THE relationship that He had planned for me.

The reason that I've always felt so challenged by this is that I've had a tendency to stay at one of two extremes in this process, finding it very difficult to find a happy medium. I'm get so determined to guard and protect my heart that I end up building walls and barriers that don't allow anyone through, thereby shutting down opportunities and potential for meaningful relationships in any arena. To compensate, therefore, I easily go to the other extreme of wearing my heart on my sleeve and sharing my dreams or hopes or passions or visions with anyone, also not appropriate to what God intended.

I feel like He revealed to me two things:

1. It's not up to me. - I've read Phil. 4: 6-7 many times, but for some reason, never noticed the end of the verse so much. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus." Isn't that cool?!? As I give these matters over to Him, He will take care of it for me!
2. The True Enemy - I had always thought it was important to guard my heart to protect it from hurt and regret. That's why I worked so hard to put up certain walls. In reading Stanley's aforementioned book, however, I realized that the thing I needed to guard against wasn't necessarily getting hurt in relationships, but "heart monsters" like guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. These are internal enemies and no matter how many walls I may build around me, I will still struggle if I don't ask God to help me deal with these, because I'm still inside the wall. I am the problem! I saw that guarding my heart didn't necessarily mean protecting it from getting hurt as much as it meant guarding and tending to it like a garden, pulling up roots of these "monsters" that will kill it and keeping the soil soft for our Heavenly Father to plant what He wishes.

Obviously, wisdom still plays a big role in appropriate emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries in relationships, but I feel much more at peace letting God do His part, and working with Him to do mine.