Wacky Words

So for whatever reason, my brain has been spending time thinking recently about how weird the English language is. It really doesn't make any sense and defies all logic.

For example:

• Why is "To" pronounced the same way as "two," but "No" isn't pronounced as "Noo?"
• Should I start pronouncing my name as "Lhah" if "Yeah" is pronounced the way that it is?
• "Hey" sounds completely different than "Key," yet phonetically they should be the same, right?

I guess my brain is resorting to some less than deep thoughts in the midst of my VBS planning. Any insights?