Chain Gang

I was reading through the book of Mark the other day when I came across a passage that really stuck out to me in a new way.

In Mark 5, we see the story of Jesus healing a demon-possessed man. It says that "This man lived in the tombs because no one could bind him any more, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him."

It struck me that the people of the town had tried time and time again to help this man, and quite obviously themselves as well, by attempting to tie him up with chains. So often, I think of helping people by trying to help them get rid of their "chains" that can hold us back to our past. In this case, however, chains were the best solution they could find.

It made me think about why we get stuck in "chains" in the first place. I'm using the word "chains" in a metaphorical sense, speaking of addictions, behaviors, mentalities, and other unhealthy ways of living that we adopt into our lifestyle to help us cope. They are different for each person. Some deal with stress or pain by grabbing a cigarette, a drink, junk food, or the remote control, but often we choose to put on a chain of some sort over our heart, mind or body as a way to numb and "put a band-aid" on the real root of the problem.

Many times this may not even seem like an intentional, deliberate choice, but thinking about this made me realize that I choose a chain far more often than I would like to admit.

The thing that really stuck out to me is that the chain can be broken in two ways, one far more healthy than another. The demon-possessed man had reached a point where he let the evil within him break through the chains, lashing out and driving him to a life of seclusion and torment. The only other option that he saw was to live a life of numb submission, literally a prisoner to his own chains. It was only Jesus who could provide another solution to this man's problem, breaking through the evil and the chains that tried to hide it, allowing true freedom and life to reign in this man once again.

As we've been praying and dreaming about our new church, a section of scripture that has continually been coming to mind is when Jesus speaks about His sole mission in coming to Earth. In Luke 4.18, Jesus is quoting from Isaiah when He says, "The Spirit of the LORD is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners, and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor."

It is our prayer that as He continues to free us from these chains, that He'll use us to do the same for the people of Philadelphia. We shall be a chain gang no longer, but like the man in Mark 5, we will run back to our homes and families and show them all that God has done for us. And the world will be amazed.

Those Parents . . .

In case you have not already seen these on Brad's blog or my Facebook, I thought I'd post some links to two recent videos that we made of Gabby.

The first is video footage of her first "real" snow, the great Pittsburgh snow of 2010 . . . which seems to keep going and going and going.

The second is total silliness of one of the most fun faces that Gabby has most recently acquired.

And with the creation of these two videos, I have finally accepted the fact that we are officially, THOSE parents. :-)

Year of the Gift

A few years ago, I read on Pastor Jeff Leake's blog about the spiritual practice of naming your year. It's a prayerful practice that I've been doing each January, asking God what would He like me to remember, to focus on, and to stand on through the upcoming year. I went back and found my post from 2007, the year when God's word to me was, "Imagine." What a fulfillment of Eph. 3:20 He chose to reveal! Meeting Brad and all the new changes that came with it truly were more than I could imagine.

This year, as I've been praying, I again felt that God gave me a word and a verse for 2010. It is "The Year of the Gift," and the verses that went along with it were again from Ephesians. Eph. 2:8-9. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works so that no one can boast." When God first laid this on my heart, I must confess that I wondered, "What does that mean?" but the more that I've prayed and thought about it, the more I think He continues to reveal.

I first thought about the whole idea of a gift. I love gifts. I love finding just the right gift for someone and I love the excitement of receiving a surprise that someone picked out to give me. But when you really think about it, receiving a gift is an exercise of trust. The receiver of the gift is trusting that the giver of the gift knows them, knows what they like, and wants to give them something that they like. We don't really think about this when we open the gift. We usually just open it and think one of three things:

• "Wow! This is EXACTLY what I wanted! I am so excited and can't wait to use it!"
• "Okay . . . I'm not really sure what to do with this. I wouldn't have chosen it, but I guess that I like it???"
• "Oh dear. I hope there's a gift receipt."

I have experienced all these instances, but usually, the closer the gift giver is in relationship to me, the more likely they are to give a gift in the first category. If it's not in the first category, I really have to stop and reconsider my initial assessment of the gift.

I remember on one particular Easter Egg Hunt when I was little, we followed a clue that my parents had given and we found a small pile of presents along with a butter knife on top. We were excited about the presents, but perplexed about the knife. Figuring it must've been a weird mistake, we grabbed the presents, left the knife there, and moved on to follow the next clue.

When we got to the next clue, we realized the presents were inside this older china closet that had lost it's handle. The only way to open it was to slide a butter knife along the door and open the latch that way. My parents knew what we needed and wanted better than we did, and we would've been smart to trust them, and take ALL the gifts with us, rather than just the ones we wanted.

When I think about the gifts that God gives, I realize that it once again often comes down to an issue of trust. I've received gifts from God that were EXACTLY what I wanted (i.e. Brad!). I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and I can't thank God enough. I've received gifts that I never thought I wanted (i.e. pain, patience, and humility), and initially I want to take these gifts back. And I've received gifts that I would have never chosen or been certain what to do with them, but chose to receive them and use them and later found out that they were exactly what I wanted (i.e. God's timing, a job, etc.).

When I think about 2010, I can already recognize several "gifts" that have been surprises to open. A year ago, I would have never dreamed about going to Philadelphia and that gift alone has brought with it feelings of "Oh, I love this so much!" and "Can I take this back?" :-) In the midst of it all, however, I'm choosing to trust my gift Giver, and choosing to believe that He knows what's best more than I do. And, as His Word says, all of these gifts are simply an outpouring of His grace. I don't deserve ANY of them, and I'm so grateful for all of them, even the ones I wouldn't have initially chosen.

I can't imagine what gifts 2010 will bring, but I thank God in advance for them, and choose to receive ALL of them, trusting He is Good.

February Update

So we made the first part of our big move and have been enjoying a week in Pittsburgh without having to pack or unpack a suitcase or box. It has been great getting settled here and we're really looking forward to spending the next few months. It's such a blessing to be with my family and seeing old friends once again. I certainly still miss family and friends back in Detroit and we look forward to a visit soon when we can see them once again.

For those of you interested in any Gabby updates, here are a few highlights. For those of you who are not, please humor the first-time Mom. :-)

• Gabby has turned 7 months old. She got to celebrate in our nation's capital with her Aunt Ashley and Uncle Nate. We did take some pictures on my camera which I'd love to post, but I just realized that the USB connector cord is in a box somewhere in the garage. Great planning, Leah. :-( Maybe I'll post them sometime in July. :-( She had a great time and was often really tired out by the end of the day. If you'd like to see proof, check out this video on Brad's blog. (It's a wonder that we haven't traumatized her from cereal entirely!)
• She also took her first trip to her new home of Philadelphia. She seemed intrigued by the history, motivated to start a new church, and enraptured by the cheesesteaks (pictured below). Mothers can tell these things through the babbles, spitups, and naps.
• Gabs sits really well on her own now, so I'm planning on getting some more formal pictures of her soon. It's probably one of those first-born baby things that gets skipped over as you add more kids to the family, but I think I want to go ahead with it anyway. :-) The sitting skill has made playing with toys a lot more fun.
• She's using rolling as a form of transportation right now which can prove to be surprisingly effective. She also seems to be doing a very primitive backwards scoot. This has already resulted in her eating a dead leaf from a hibiscus plant that was lying on the floor (which thankfully was not poisonous) and has taught mommy that it's a whole new ballgame.
• Gabby is certainly living up to her name. Her speech has become a lot more syllabic over the past few weeks and we have caught many "mama's" and "dada's" (even though I don't think she attributes them to us just yet). And, I'm pretty sure I've heard her singing the chorus to "Mmmbop." Who knew she liked Hanson? :-) I never knew that "cuteness" actually had a sound, but when I listen to her talking and singing, it is most certainly the quintessence of cute.

I think those are the major highlights. I'll try and find some pictures from my phone that don't require a plug to upload. Thanks for all your prayers! We're doing great!

Gotcha!!!!

Well, we've officially reached the end of a very busy week of packing, good-byes, hellos, traveling, exploring, and trying to get settled into our "new normal." While I'm still processing a lot of the experiences, dreams, and emotions, here are some of the initial thoughts.

As we were packing and getting ready to leave Michigan, I couldn't help but think back to almost exactly two years before when I was packing and getting ready to leave Pittsburgh. These were two very similar experiences, but they felt very different to me. I've been trying to process why.

When I was leaving Pittsburgh, I certainly was very sad to leave my family, church, friends, and the only home I had ever known. By saying, "Yes," to Brad, I was saying, "No," to Pittsburgh and all that it held. And while the pain of the, "No," was very significant, the joy of the, "Yes," was exciting, delightful, and certainly tangible. All of the long-distance dating was VERY old at that point and the thought of being able to stay with Brad, to live with him and do life with him was certainly a dream come true. It was really easy to see that, feel that, and touch that and it made the letting go a little easier.

With this move, we are again saying, "Yes," and, "No." Only this time, the, "No," is a lot more tangible than the, "Yes." We are confident that God has spoken to us and is leading us to start a church planting network in Philadelphia and with that, "Yes!" we feel great excitement and dreams building in our hearts. Sometimes, though, it's hard to hold on to that dream, when all we can feel is the pain of leaving so many people and places that we love so dearly behind. When the "Yes," is a bit more intangible, it can be harder to let go.

I guess that's why the end of this past week was so significant for me. Almost immediately upon arriving in Pittsburgh, we left again to visit my sister in DC and then to travel to Philly as a family and scope out the city for a few days. As we were entering the city, I was busy navigating for Brad, trying to look for road signs in the midst of six lanes of congested traffic.

Somewhere in the middle of this, however, I paused, looked out the window, and felt my heart leap inside my chest. Perhaps it was seeing the city skyline. Perhaps it was the sun peeking through the clouds. Perhaps it was the fact that we just passed a Target right in the city limits. :-) Whatever the case, it was a definite excitement burst in my heart. I wasn't even looking for it, but I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

I would be lying if I said that over the next 48 hours I never had moments of feeling fear, anxiety, tension, uncertainty, or stress. These were certainly present and I'm sure it won't be the last time that I feel these over the next few months. Underneath it all, however, there was this underlying peace, this inexplicable confirmation to embrace the, "Yes."

I've identified with a picture of a trapeze artist who has just leapt off the platform to be caught by their partner. I've read that when the "catcher" successfully grabs on to the "flyer" sometimes the catcher will shout out, "Gotcha!" to their partner. This lets the flyer know that the catcher has a good grip and that the flyer can now let go of the bar.

At the end of several months of leaping off a secure platform into the arena of the unknown, this trip to Philadelphia was the "Gotcha!" at the peak of the leap. God was letting me know that He did have me in His grasp and that I could let go of the security of what we were leaving behind. Even in the midst of hanging at the end of a wild swing on a trapeze, there's nowhere more secure than in the grip of the hands of our Father.

I'll probably have to re-read this several times in the months ahead, but in the meantime, I'm going to try and make an intentional choice to enjoy the ride as a "flyer," and rest in the grasp of my Catcher.

Leach Family 411

So I'm ashamed of how long it's been since I've written. I made it a New Year's Goal to try and write once a week, but I've already fallen behind in that. :-( Because there's been a lot of changes in the last few months, however, I thought I'd give a quick update.

• Baby - Gabriella has officially turned 1/2. We used the day as an opportunity to discuss integers and rational numbers. I think she caught on, though she started asking some questions about irrational numbers and I told her we'd wait until she was at least 5/6 to discuss those. The imaginary number can get a little confusing. :-) It truly has been amazing to me to see how much I'm enjoying each new phase more than the last. Often I can actually see her learning something new. It's such a fresh, new perspective on life to see someone trying something and doing something for the very first time. It's really made me appreciate again the unique diversity and beauty of our world, things that are so easy to take for granted. I'll post some new pictures below.
• Holidays - We were able to enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends. We got to spend some time in Tampa with Brad's family and then enjoy a Pittsburgh Thanksgiving with my family. For Christmas, Brad took me to Bronners CHRISTmas Wonderland for the first time and I hope it's a tradition that we can continue as a family for a while. It truly made me happy making Christmas memories as our new expanded family. :-) Gabby was blessed with many wonderful gifts from Grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles and she's definitely enjoying playing with them now (although she seemed to enjoy the wrapping paper the most).
• Philly Project - God has been doing some amazing work in the hearts of both Brad and me over these past few months. It's ultimately resulted in us stepping out in obedience to leave Detroit and plant a new church in Philadelphia, PA. You can read about the initial process of making the decision to plant a church here on Brad's blog. And you can read about the way God led us to Philly here on his blog. Honestly, more than any end result, I'm so grateful for the way that God used it as an opportunity to bring us closer to Him and to each other. It was really the first major decision that we made together as a married couple and we learned a lot about how God has spoken to us individually in the past and how He's speaking to us as a married couple. I'm so grateful and humbled that we serve a God who actually speaks to us and guides us. In the months since, I can honestly say that God has been growing the seed of faith and excitement that He first planted several months ago. I never imagined planting a church, but the more that I've learned, studied, and felt God planting a new dream in my heart, the more excited I've been. It's definitely bittersweet to leave a home, church, and family that we love, but we are filled with hope for the next chapter that God is bringing.
• Next Steps - So that brings us to the specifics and logistics of now. I've noticed several comments on FB that have been wondering what I'm talking about when I discuss packing and moving. Yesterday was our last official Sunday at COTK, although I'm sure there will be visits in the future. :-) Brad preached such a meaningful message and you can read the highlights here. We will spend our 2 year wedding anniversary tomorrow packing up the last boxes, cleaning the house, and loading the moving truck. We will head to Pittsburgh on Wednesday morning and unpack there as we will be staying with my mom and dad for a few months. Allison Park Church is going to be partnering with us to launch a church planting movement in the city of Philadelphia. You can read more about Pastor Jeff's thoughts here and here. It is then our goal to be in Philly by June 2010.
• Prayer Requests - I have heard so much encouragement and prayers from so many people as they've found out. To each of you, I truly am grateful and thank you so much for all your kind words. We would continue to covet your prayers. Specifically, our house is on the market at a time when it is not the most ideal timing to sell a house. We're praying that God would help it sell to the right person in His perfect timing and that He'd give us the patience, faith, and strength to trust Him in the meantime and glorify Him throughout the process. We'd also ask for prayers as we'll be making some major decisions in the upcoming months as far as location, housing, team building, financing, etc. We really trust that God will continue to lead us and want to remain soft and open to hearing the Holy Spirit each step of the way.

I guess the length of this post is evidence of what happens when you don't blog in 3 months. Sorry about that. :-( Hope to be better in 2010! You can also follow on Twitter if you wish at LeahLeach. I seem to be able to manage 140 characters a little better. :-)

Alive and Well

Oh Sad! I had no idea how long it had been since I've been on here. Let's see what I can remember for a quick recap:

• Gabby enjoyed her first trip to Disney World! During the AG General Council in the beginning of August, we took Gabs to the Magic Kingdom and Hollywood Studios. While there, I wondered what kind of parents take their 6-week old to Disney World? Apparently some do, because Disney has a "Baby Care Center" in each park. For those of you who may also do the same thing, Baby Care Center is the place to go! Very well done and nice touch to the day. For a really cool story on an amazing day in Hollywood Studios, follow the link here to my mom's blog. Samantha Edwards is my FAVORITE Idol! :-)
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• Gabby is now smiling and laughing up a storm. I read a story a few weeks ago about a research study conducted in Texas where they tracked what happened to new mom's when their babies smiled. What they found was that the brain activity that occurs is similar to what happens when one takes a hit of cocaine. I have no trouble believing that study. When I heard Gabby laugh last week (I mean really laugh . . . belly shaking, consistent laughter), it was intoxicating. I could listen to it all day.
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• Brad and I celebrated our birthdays in September. For his, I went to my first Michigan football game against Notre Dame. Great game and VERY exciting! Then, I turned 30!!!! It was a little weird because with everything else that has happened these last few months, 30 almost seemed like an after-thought. My husband made it so special, however, planning a party full of surprises including a visit from my childhood hero, Psalty the singing songbook. For a recap on the night, you can visit my mom's blog or Brad's blog here and here. What a man. I love you, Baby.

I know there is more, but it's all I can think of now. I'll try and do better in the future. :-)

Don't Cry, Baby!

One of the things that I've most appreciated about being a parent is the entirely new perspective that I've begun to realize, recognizing God as my Father. I've always related to God in this manner as a daughter, and because I've had such a great Earthly father, I feel as if I've been blessed to understand how God loves me and cares for me.

Now that I am a parent, however, I find myself going throughout my days with these "epiphany moments," when I understand a spiritual Truth that I've always known on an entirely new level.

For example, often, when Gabby wakes up from a nap or her "sleeping time," (which is still pretty much a 3 hr. nap) she is waking up because she is hungry. And if it's been a few hours, she finds that she is ravenously hungry. And she really wants to make sure that we know that she's hungry and that we didn't forget about her, so she cries. In several cases, crying is not the best word for the situation. The sound is more like how you would imagine she would scream if we were dipping her in hot oil. She gets so worked up, all the while I am getting a bottle ready trying to remind her that I have never before forgotten to feed her, and we don't plan on doing it any time soon, so she doesn't have to worry.

She doesn't seem to understand this yet.

And the really sad part is that while she is so worked up, it's often hard to try and get her to eat because she is gasping for breath and cries, and well, if you've ever had to deal with this kind of crying baby, you know what I mean.

The moment that I am able to get the bottle into her mouth, however, the crying stops. She starts eating and then looks at me with this, "Oh, yeah. We've done this before. Guess Mom didn't forget about me," look that makes me smile.

And then I realize how often I do the same thing. Throughout my life, God has NEVER ONCE neglected to take care of my needs. Never once. I've always had food to eat, a house in which to live and more than enough clothes. And yet, I still find myself from time to time worrying about paying bills or our budget or so many other little things. And sometimes, I get so worked up, I can barely think about anything else, almost like that wail that Gabby does.

And then, God pulls through. Once again. Big surprise. He does something big or small that reminds me that He's always done this before. And He's going to continue to do it again. So maybe I should just chill out for a bit. This verse came to mind.

Psalm 131.2

"But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with it's mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me."

My "quiet times" are certainly different these days than they used to be, but God is using so many different opportunities to show me more of Himself. I can't wait to see what they continue to be!

More Pics!

Here are a few more pics so I didn't clog up the one entry. Some of them are just plain cute and some include a variety of my favorite faces that she makes including the "deer in headlights" look and the "Popeye" (can't you just see her thinking, "Ah, guh, guh, guh, guh.") :-)

Still Alive!

Someone told me about a week into mommyhood that it is "The hardest job you'll ever love." I can't think of something more appropriate to describe the last 5 weeks. It is by far the hardest job I have ever done. Being a mom quite literally beats the selfishness out of you. I had no idea how selfish of a person I was until I saw how much my life had centered around me pre-Gabby. I guess some of that is normal, but truly, having this little life has so dramatically shown me what it means to put another before yourself.

I don't know if there's any way that I can ever show enough appreciation for my mom. Every day should be Mother's Day. :-)

Truly, though, it is pretty amazing. Sometimes I just stare at Gabby in awe that God created this little life completely unique to the world as we know it. I wonder what she will continue to be like as she gets older.

And it's been really cool to see how it has taken the relationship that Brad and I have to an entirely new level. I really think one of my favorite parts of having Gabby is watching him interact with her. He's an amazing dad.

I'm afraid that my window of time when I have two hands free to type is quickly closing. I will try and post some new pics and will try and update them on Facebook, too. For those of you that have sent an e-mail/voice mail, I am so sorry if I haven't talked to you yet. I so appreciate all the love and prayers and couldn't make it without them!

Training Wheels Mommy

Well, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. I apologize for the delay in blog updates. Hopefully, you've been able to keep up on Brad's blog. If not, you can catch up here.

First of all, I can't thank you enough for all the FB messages, blog comments, texts, e-mails, calls, and prayers that I have received from so many of you. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. We have felt such joy from this little girl and to know that it brings joy to others as well has been such a gift.

Secondly, I have to thank all of my families for all the love and help that they've given. Between Brad's family and my family I've had my laundry done, dishes washed, weeds pulled, home projects completed, and I'm sure I don't even realize the extent of everything that they've done for us. And our church family has been blessing us with meals delivered to our front door! It's why I think of myself as a Mommy with training wheels right now. I realize it will be a whole new ride when those training wheels come off.

Thirdly, GABRIELLA IS HERE!!!! :-)

I know we all know that, but sometimes I have to remind myself that this is all real and that yes, there is a baby in the next room. And yes, she belongs to Brad and I. Madness. Over this last week or so I've felt the whole gamut of emotions, but more than anything I feel incredibly thankful and so very blessed.

Here's a quick recap on the last week.

• Monday, June 22, I got to enjoy the day with my parents. They decided to come out on Sunday night even though nothing was happening because my dad had already taken the week off of work and they chose to wait out here rather than in Pittsburgh. I can't express what a lovely time I had with just them and in retrospect, it truly was a gift of perfect timing.
• 4:45 PM, Monday, June 22. My water broke. I wasn't even sure that it had really happened, because it wasn't exactly what I expected. Contractions started almost immediately and again, I wasn't sure that they were contractions because they were not at all what I expected. And when I was timing what I felt, they started at 4.5 minutes apart. That wasn't supposed to happen that way, was it?!?
• The doctor recommended heading to the hospital to check things out and Brad and I have been concerned all along about the time of day that we would head there, as it is full of traffic during construction and especially during rush hour. We were headed in the middle of rush hour, but by God's grace, hit NO traffic. It was a good thing, too, b/c by the time I made it to the hospital my contractions were about 3.5 minutes apart.
• Within the next 2.5-3 hours, I was 10 cm and ready to push. I couldn't believe how fast everything was going and the only sad part about the whole experience was that it looked like my sister Ashley and brother-in-law, Nate, would not make it in time from their drive from Washington D.C.
• I have never been so aware of the curse of sin as I was during those contractions.
• The speed of the labor was made up for in the delivery part of the birth. It took about another 2.5 hours all in all, but again, the timing worked out perfectly. Ashley ran into the delivery room with 20 minutes to spare and because she was officially born on Tuesday, my other sister, Samantha, won the baby pool. :-)
• Gabby was born on Tuesday, June 23, 12:21 AM and was 7 lbs., 15 oz. and 19 in. long. It was an incredible moment and I don't know that I'll ever find the right words to describe it.
• The days since then have felt far more like weeks. I don't mean this in a bad way. I just think that when life is reduced to 2.5-3 hr. naps, that you lose sight of day/night and it all just turns into one big blur. I can't believe she's only been here for 9 days.
• Baby girl has been doing pretty well with sleeping. At times, I've thought she would be on just the perfect schedule if we lived in China. I keep trying to explain to her that we live in the Eastern time zone, but she doesn't seem to quite grasp this. I can't really blame her. Time zones have been an elusive concept for me as well.
• Brad has been absolutely AMAZING. Truly, my love for him has gone to an entirely new level and again, I wish I had words to express my feelings. He's the most incredible dad, sacrificing so much for his wife and daughter and showing such love and grace through it all. He is a gift beyond words and I'm so grateful.

This is already way too long, so I'll spare the extra details and try and post more frequently in the future. Also, I'll include some pics, although most of my family has the really good ones, as I've not really been able to take quite as many. :-)

Gabriella Faith Leach

Still Pregnant . . .

About a month ago, I felt slightly overwhelmed with all that had to be done before Baby Girl came.  There were several major projects that needed to be completed before "the nest" was ready.  In the weeks since, however, thanks to the help of our family, friends, and wonderful husband, the nest is ready, and I've been working on just about anything and everything that I can think of to get all the "finishing touches" together.

I've run out of things to do.  Just playing the waiting game now.

And when it comes to the waiting game, well, it's not really a game I like to play so much.  During these last few days, however, there have been several times when I've been reminded of some truths in waiting seasons.

One is that I think it's so important to try and stay focused on something other than what I'm waiting for.  I say this because I've realized how easy it can be to get so self-centered on my situation, and when this happens, it's really easy to get not only impatient, but irrational.  The thought has actually occurred to me, "What if she never comes out?!?"  Clearly my brain knows this isn't possible, but when I'm focused on me, it's easy to lose sight of the reality of my situation.

When I take my eyes off of me and look around, I see how much I have for which to be thankful.  My fat feet and hands don't seem like such a big deal when I see people with much bigger needs and health problems, and I remember that pregnancy and this baby are gifts, ones that a lot of people would love to have and haven't been able to experience.  It is quite humbling.

This isn't the first time that I've been in a waiting season, and I know it certainly won't be the last.  I really do want to get better at this and am asking God for the grace to trust His timing and plans, knowing that they are far better than I could imagine.  All the days in my baby's book have been written before one of them came to be (Ps. 139).  I am so thankful that my Father is writing the book and can't wait to read the next chapter.

The Pumpkin

Well, it finally arrived today.  My Baby Center e-mail that announced that my baby is now the size of a small pumpkin.  I'm not sure if I should be encouraged by the thought that it is a "small" pumpkin.  I've been to pumpkin patches and in my opinion, thinking of any size pumpkin coming out of my body sounds like quite a job.  I guess that's why they call it labor.  Tomorrow (June 20) is Gabriella's actual due date.  I don't think I want to know what fruit comes after a "small pumpkin" should she want to delay her birthday.

I'm including my official 10 month photo.  The shirt has been stretched to the extreme.  I look back at the 5 month photo when I had to stand sideways to see the "HUGE" bump that I had at that time.  It's definitely a pretty good chuckle.  A few other thoughts for this final stretch:

• Brad's already such an amazing Daddy.  He's got the car packed, nursery ready, and talks to Gabby regularly telling her to kick and punch that water all around her so that he can meet her soon.  What a gift he is to us both.  18 months ago today we were married.  It's hard to believe all that God has done in such a short amount of time.
• This week we enjoyed, "Celebrate the Week of TWWBATDIA" (Things We Won't Be Able To Do In Awhile).  I posted it on Facebook and got quite a flurry of recommendations on how to participate.  It was funny to see my friends who haven't had kids telling me to go out, stay up all night, etc. and those who have almost unanimously said, "Sleep!"  We've been doing a mix of both.
• I was watching a show called "Amazing Births" today on Discovery Health (what I call "The Trainwreck Channel") at the the gym.  One of the stories started out with the line, "Some women dream of the opportunity to have their babies in water with the aid of dolphins."  Ummmmm . . . I have no response to that.  

We'll be updating as best as we can in the upcoming days.  Brad will probably be better than I on his blog, Facebook, or Twitter.  Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement!

Year of Champions!

So I always took great pride in the fact that I was born in Pittsburgh in the year 1979.  1979 was referred to as a Year of Champions, as it was the year that the Steelers won the Super Bowl and the Pirates won the World Series.  Now, nearly 30 years later, my daughter is going to be born in ANOTHER Year of Champions!  How cool is that?!?  Little Gabby is a champion from the very beginning.  I can tell that she's really excited about it.

Ignorant Pregnancy

Over these previous 9 months, I've found that pregnancy is a natural ice breaker for a variety of conversation topics, many of which I can honestly say I have never previously discussed in my life, nevertheless in public conversation.  While these can run the gamut from "Eeeewwwww," to "That's Just Beautiful!" one of the more entertaining conversations that has come up several times is in regard to women who did not know they were pregnant until they went into labor.

I had thought this was an urban legend, but indeed, it does happen, even enough that they actually made an entire documentary about it on the Discovery Health channel ("I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant," airs June 14, 10 PM . . . creative title, huh?).  

This has always seemed like a bizarre circumstance, but after going through pregnancy, I have to admit that it seems almost impossible to imagine going through this and not knowing why.  It does happen, though.  Morning sickness can be written off as the flu.  Some don't have much weight gain or if they do, they don't notice it.  I'm not sure how you can write off the movements in your tummy, but maybe it's thought of as bad indigestion???

In the midst of our conversation, one of my friends commented, "Well, at least you get to go through pregnancy without dealing with any of the waiting and not-so-fun parts," and while that's true, it's my opinion that having that happen would be way worse than anything that you feel during pregnancy.  I've learned that there's a reason why God gives you 10 months to prepare physically, mentally, and emotionally.  And any symptoms that do occur can be placed in the context of the season of pregnancy.  (i.e. I may be sick now, but I know it won't be forever, I don't have to worry about it, and at the end there will be new life.)

While it's really easy for me to think, "How could you possibly be so clueless as to not know you are pregnant?" I was thinking about it more last night and realized that my ignorance can be just as prevalent in some other areas of my life.  

So many times, I've found that God is working on creating a new thing in me, in my spirit, my heart, something that often takes time.  And it's usually something that I want, like more patience, humility, love, empathy, generosity.  The only thing is, that I would much prefer these beautiful "babies" to just be brought to my doorstep by the stork, rather than going through the process of actually growing them in my life.  

It's that growth process that can often be not so much fun with feelings of pain or discomfort or sacrifice, and these symptoms can create a very natural response of wanting to avert the process, or write them off as problems that I'd like to avoid and get over.  If I look at them through the lens and perspective of "pregnancy," however, realizing that God is generating and creating something that has never before been conceived, it somehow makes the process much more bearable and even enjoyable knowing that it will last for a season and at the end there will be new life.

So while this season of my first pregnancy may be coming to a close, I'm recognizing that God has been growing a lot more than just a baby inside of me.  And I pray that as our baby girl is born that He will continue to birth new life and growth inside my heart and spirit.  

Game Six

So since I have moved to Detroit, the Pens have now played the Red Wings TWICE in the Stanley Cup Finals.  Who would've ever guessed?

Last year, Brad and I had only been married about 6 months (see picture) when the revolutionary event happened and Brad learned what he has declared to be a very important lesson.  Never bet with your wife.  As he puts it, if you lose, you lose.  And if you win, you still lose. :-)

This year, we have no official friendly wagers on the game, but there is still the marital rivalry going on.  I like to think, however, that my fan base has doubled since last year making it even more fun to cheer on the Pens.  Whereas it was just me and my mother-in-law last year (she felt so sorry for me being all alone), this year we have added Samantha (my sister) and Gabby (I have declared that at least while she is still a part of me, she is a Penguins fan.  I swear she kicks whenever they score!).  There have even been a few people at church who have stood up with me.

So, as we venture into Game 6 tonight, I'm confident that we'll see how Hockeytown handles another win for the Pens!

Almost there!

Well, the official 9 month mark (36 weeks) has come and gone.  This Friday, I will move to 38 weeks!  Here are a few musings on this last stretch of the pregnancy adventure.

• I've been amazed watching the transition of my fingers and feet over the last week or so.  I think they resemble the Michelin man, or perhaps Princess Fiona from Shrek.  I'm assuming that they will go down again after the baby is born?  I would like to wear my wedding ring again soon. :-)
• Over the last month or so, my belly button has completely popped.  It kind of makes me feel like a Thanksgiving turkey.  I think she is just about done cooking. :-)
  
• And speaking of birds . . . I have a whole new understanding about the term "nesting."  I believe that I had avoided it until Brad graduated and we could both really focus on getting physically ready for Gabby.  Once we started, it was difficult for me to stop.  I found myself doing very strange things like waking up at 5 AM unable to go back to sleep because of an irresistible desire to wash all the baby clothes and sheets.  Brad has been so patient, supportive, and creative throughout this project and I'm so thankful for all he has done to get the "nest" ready.  Mama Bird is very happy. :-)  I've included some pics in case you're interested.
• We traded in my Honda Civic for a family-friendly car.  We weren't quite ready to enter the era of the mini-van so we went with a nice crossover, the Ford Edge.  It even has a red racing stripe on it which makes us still feel not quite old.  The car seat is installed and ready to go!

All we need now is Baby bird!  We are so eager to meet her and yet at the same time, it's pretty surreal to think that in about 2 weeks, we'll actually have a baby with us.  What a gift from God and we're certainly going to need His help to understand the "instruction manual" with this little girl. :-) Thanks for all your prayers!

Pretty Little Flower Weeds

Since Spring has sprung on our little neighborhood of Berkley, the sights and sounds of lawnmowers and landscaping have once again permeated the neighborhood.  It's fun to see people outside again.  I so admire the people who have their lawns looking so well-manicured, colorful, and pretty.  I confess, however, I do not enjoy this same passion.

I don't really like to dig around in the dirt.  It's not the dirtiness I mind as much as the bugs.  I really don't like the worms and bugs.

And then there's this whole thing of weeding.  I hate weeding.  It never goes away.  No matter how many times I pull up those stinkin' weeds, they always come back.  Very quickly, might I add.

And the ones that REALLY get me are the ones that I call "ninja weeds."  They are the weeds that sneak up on you because they don't really look like weeds.  They disguise themselves as pretty, little flowers.  We had a large patch of pretty, little purple flowers in our front lawn this year which I thought were just delightful.  Then, I was told that they were actually weeds and that they had to go!  Imagine, the sneakiness of those weeds!  Pretending to be flowers and all the while they are just waiting to pounce upon the healthy growth of our grass.

It made me think twice about the various "gardening habits" that I cultivate in my own life.  When I go through life day to day, experiencing various circumstances and interactions with people, attitudes and thinking patterns naturally will begin to grow in my heart.  

Sometimes, these are obviously beautiful, healthy flowers.  Time spent with a trusted friend builds encouragement, love, and delight in my heart and adds "fertilizer" to the growth that may have already been there.

Other times, they are obviously weeds.  When I spend my time watching shows with unhealthy images, or around people that bring out negative behaviors in me, weeds like gossip or deceit or self-indulgence can be fertilized, thereby choking out the healthy growth of the aforementioned "flowers."  These weeds need to be picked and thrown out quite regularly.

The ones of which I've become more aware, however, are the "pretty little flower weeds" that can tend to grow in my heart.  These aren't obviously "bad," but when I begin to analyze the growth that comes from them, I see they don't really produce flowers at all.  

For example, I can indulge in romantic comedies or romance novels, and if I'm not careful, I can begin to compare my life, my marriage, my home, or any number of other things to a fantasy ideal that doesn't even exist.  And the "pretty, little flower weeds" of discontent and anxiety begin to spring up.  While these things may not be inherently "bad" or cause this sort of growth all the time, I've become aware of the need to be proactive about noticing what these sorts of things can do to my heart and be just as vigilant about pulling the "ninja weeds" as I am the obvious ones.

God, through the Holy Spirit, is the master Gardener of my heart and I need to look to Him for the guidance on a daily basis.  Through His grace, I will be able to enjoy the rewards of the "pretty, little flowers" in my garden, without having to be tricked by the weeds.

Master Baby

This weekend marked a monumental celebration in the Leach household . . . Brad graduated with his Master's Degree in Church Leadership from Assembly of God Theological Seminary!

I am so proud of him and although I couldn't physically be there, I made sure he took a picture so I could see how cute he looked in his cap and gown. :-)

It's pretty amazing to see this phase complete, as it was one of the first "big" things we discussed in the context of our relationship back in June 2007.  While we had no certainty of the course of things ahead, I really knew this was a great opportunity for him and encouraged him to pursue it if he so desired.  Looking back on things now, I see how providential God was in His timing to allow Brad to finish this season just in time before life would change once again when he's a Daddy!  He really does seem to have these things planned out pretty well. :-)

Congratulations, Master Baby. :-) I love you and am so proud of you!!!