Now that I am a parent, however, I find myself going throughout my days with these "epiphany moments," when I understand a spiritual Truth that I've always known on an entirely new level.
For example, often, when Gabby wakes up from a nap or her "sleeping time," (which is still pretty much a 3 hr. nap) she is waking up because she is hungry. And if it's been a few hours, she finds that she is ravenously hungry. And she really wants to make sure that we know that she's hungry and that we didn't forget about her, so she cries. In several cases, crying is not the best word for the situation. The sound is more like how you would imagine she would scream if we were dipping her in hot oil. She gets so worked up, all the while I am getting a bottle ready trying to remind her that I have never before forgotten to feed her, and we don't plan on doing it any time soon, so she doesn't have to worry.
She doesn't seem to understand this yet.
And the really sad part is that while she is so worked up, it's often hard to try and get her to eat because she is gasping for breath and cries, and well, if you've ever had to deal with this kind of crying baby, you know what I mean.
The moment that I am able to get the bottle into her mouth, however, the crying stops. She starts eating and then looks at me with this, "Oh, yeah. We've done this before. Guess Mom didn't forget about me," look that makes me smile.
And then I realize how often I do the same thing. Throughout my life, God has NEVER ONCE neglected to take care of my needs. Never once. I've always had food to eat, a house in which to live and more than enough clothes. And yet, I still find myself from time to time worrying about paying bills or our budget or so many other little things. And sometimes, I get so worked up, I can barely think about anything else, almost like that wail that Gabby does.
And then, God pulls through. Once again. Big surprise. He does something big or small that reminds me that He's always done this before. And He's going to continue to do it again. So maybe I should just chill out for a bit. This verse came to mind.
"But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with it's mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me."
My "quiet times" are certainly different these days than they used to be, but God is using so many different opportunities to show me more of Himself. I can't wait to see what they continue to be!