Don't Cry, Baby!

One of the things that I've most appreciated about being a parent is the entirely new perspective that I've begun to realize, recognizing God as my Father. I've always related to God in this manner as a daughter, and because I've had such a great Earthly father, I feel as if I've been blessed to understand how God loves me and cares for me.

Now that I am a parent, however, I find myself going throughout my days with these "epiphany moments," when I understand a spiritual Truth that I've always known on an entirely new level.

For example, often, when Gabby wakes up from a nap or her "sleeping time," (which is still pretty much a 3 hr. nap) she is waking up because she is hungry. And if it's been a few hours, she finds that she is ravenously hungry. And she really wants to make sure that we know that she's hungry and that we didn't forget about her, so she cries. In several cases, crying is not the best word for the situation. The sound is more like how you would imagine she would scream if we were dipping her in hot oil. She gets so worked up, all the while I am getting a bottle ready trying to remind her that I have never before forgotten to feed her, and we don't plan on doing it any time soon, so she doesn't have to worry.

She doesn't seem to understand this yet.

And the really sad part is that while she is so worked up, it's often hard to try and get her to eat because she is gasping for breath and cries, and well, if you've ever had to deal with this kind of crying baby, you know what I mean.

The moment that I am able to get the bottle into her mouth, however, the crying stops. She starts eating and then looks at me with this, "Oh, yeah. We've done this before. Guess Mom didn't forget about me," look that makes me smile.

And then I realize how often I do the same thing. Throughout my life, God has NEVER ONCE neglected to take care of my needs. Never once. I've always had food to eat, a house in which to live and more than enough clothes. And yet, I still find myself from time to time worrying about paying bills or our budget or so many other little things. And sometimes, I get so worked up, I can barely think about anything else, almost like that wail that Gabby does.

And then, God pulls through. Once again. Big surprise. He does something big or small that reminds me that He's always done this before. And He's going to continue to do it again. So maybe I should just chill out for a bit. This verse came to mind.

Psalm 131.2

"But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with it's mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me."

My "quiet times" are certainly different these days than they used to be, but God is using so many different opportunities to show me more of Himself. I can't wait to see what they continue to be!

More Pics!

Here are a few more pics so I didn't clog up the one entry. Some of them are just plain cute and some include a variety of my favorite faces that she makes including the "deer in headlights" look and the "Popeye" (can't you just see her thinking, "Ah, guh, guh, guh, guh.") :-)

Still Alive!

Someone told me about a week into mommyhood that it is "The hardest job you'll ever love." I can't think of something more appropriate to describe the last 5 weeks. It is by far the hardest job I have ever done. Being a mom quite literally beats the selfishness out of you. I had no idea how selfish of a person I was until I saw how much my life had centered around me pre-Gabby. I guess some of that is normal, but truly, having this little life has so dramatically shown me what it means to put another before yourself.

I don't know if there's any way that I can ever show enough appreciation for my mom. Every day should be Mother's Day. :-)

Truly, though, it is pretty amazing. Sometimes I just stare at Gabby in awe that God created this little life completely unique to the world as we know it. I wonder what she will continue to be like as she gets older.

And it's been really cool to see how it has taken the relationship that Brad and I have to an entirely new level. I really think one of my favorite parts of having Gabby is watching him interact with her. He's an amazing dad.

I'm afraid that my window of time when I have two hands free to type is quickly closing. I will try and post some new pics and will try and update them on Facebook, too. For those of you that have sent an e-mail/voice mail, I am so sorry if I haven't talked to you yet. I so appreciate all the love and prayers and couldn't make it without them!

Training Wheels Mommy

Well, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. I apologize for the delay in blog updates. Hopefully, you've been able to keep up on Brad's blog. If not, you can catch up here.

First of all, I can't thank you enough for all the FB messages, blog comments, texts, e-mails, calls, and prayers that I have received from so many of you. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. We have felt such joy from this little girl and to know that it brings joy to others as well has been such a gift.

Secondly, I have to thank all of my families for all the love and help that they've given. Between Brad's family and my family I've had my laundry done, dishes washed, weeds pulled, home projects completed, and I'm sure I don't even realize the extent of everything that they've done for us. And our church family has been blessing us with meals delivered to our front door! It's why I think of myself as a Mommy with training wheels right now. I realize it will be a whole new ride when those training wheels come off.

Thirdly, GABRIELLA IS HERE!!!! :-)

I know we all know that, but sometimes I have to remind myself that this is all real and that yes, there is a baby in the next room. And yes, she belongs to Brad and I. Madness. Over this last week or so I've felt the whole gamut of emotions, but more than anything I feel incredibly thankful and so very blessed.

Here's a quick recap on the last week.

• Monday, June 22, I got to enjoy the day with my parents. They decided to come out on Sunday night even though nothing was happening because my dad had already taken the week off of work and they chose to wait out here rather than in Pittsburgh. I can't express what a lovely time I had with just them and in retrospect, it truly was a gift of perfect timing.
• 4:45 PM, Monday, June 22. My water broke. I wasn't even sure that it had really happened, because it wasn't exactly what I expected. Contractions started almost immediately and again, I wasn't sure that they were contractions because they were not at all what I expected. And when I was timing what I felt, they started at 4.5 minutes apart. That wasn't supposed to happen that way, was it?!?
• The doctor recommended heading to the hospital to check things out and Brad and I have been concerned all along about the time of day that we would head there, as it is full of traffic during construction and especially during rush hour. We were headed in the middle of rush hour, but by God's grace, hit NO traffic. It was a good thing, too, b/c by the time I made it to the hospital my contractions were about 3.5 minutes apart.
• Within the next 2.5-3 hours, I was 10 cm and ready to push. I couldn't believe how fast everything was going and the only sad part about the whole experience was that it looked like my sister Ashley and brother-in-law, Nate, would not make it in time from their drive from Washington D.C.
• I have never been so aware of the curse of sin as I was during those contractions.
• The speed of the labor was made up for in the delivery part of the birth. It took about another 2.5 hours all in all, but again, the timing worked out perfectly. Ashley ran into the delivery room with 20 minutes to spare and because she was officially born on Tuesday, my other sister, Samantha, won the baby pool. :-)
• Gabby was born on Tuesday, June 23, 12:21 AM and was 7 lbs., 15 oz. and 19 in. long. It was an incredible moment and I don't know that I'll ever find the right words to describe it.
• The days since then have felt far more like weeks. I don't mean this in a bad way. I just think that when life is reduced to 2.5-3 hr. naps, that you lose sight of day/night and it all just turns into one big blur. I can't believe she's only been here for 9 days.
• Baby girl has been doing pretty well with sleeping. At times, I've thought she would be on just the perfect schedule if we lived in China. I keep trying to explain to her that we live in the Eastern time zone, but she doesn't seem to quite grasp this. I can't really blame her. Time zones have been an elusive concept for me as well.
• Brad has been absolutely AMAZING. Truly, my love for him has gone to an entirely new level and again, I wish I had words to express my feelings. He's the most incredible dad, sacrificing so much for his wife and daughter and showing such love and grace through it all. He is a gift beyond words and I'm so grateful.

This is already way too long, so I'll spare the extra details and try and post more frequently in the future. Also, I'll include some pics, although most of my family has the really good ones, as I've not really been able to take quite as many. :-)