Still Awake . . .

So I apologize for not staying true to my word and posting the rest of the story the next day. As it turns out, I've taken a very hefty bite of "school" this last semester and it's taking up a lot more of my time than I initially realized. I trust that many of you have been keeping up with the epic tale of love here, written by my handsome Prince.

To complete the pre-engagement story, I mentioned that my interest was piqued after reading Brad's blog, but nothing more serious was going on in my heart until I followed a link on his blog to his church website where there were also links to his Podcasts. I decided to listen to one, choosing a message entitled "Baggage Claim 301: Dreams." Somewhere in between "Welcome to church today . . ." and "Let's close in prayer . . .," God managed to grab my cynical little heart and mind and speak to me directly through this man's insightful and God-inspired preaching.

Brad was talking about the dreams that God can lay on our heart, dreams that many times have to die in the way that we expect them to happen, in the way that we want them to happen, only to be later resurrected in a more perfect way than we could have ever asked or imagined. Listening to the message was a wrestling match of sorts for me. I knew that what he was saying was Truth, was what God was trying to tell me about, but I didn't want to believe it. I was scared to believe it. The truth was that after suffering the pain and hurt of broken dreams I didn't want to dream again. I didn't want to hope again. It was easier and less painful to expect nothing and never be disappointed than it was for me to honestly allow God to do something new in my heart.

And so, after I listened, sat there, prayed, and then listened to the whole message again, I spent some serious time honestly downloading my thoughts and dreams to God, totally unfiltered, total stream of consciousness, total of two hours and a good 8 journal pages. My dream was to one day be married and though I never sat down and wrote out the infamous "list of husband qualities" (saying instead that I didn't care and would take whatever God gave me) I realized that if I was honest, I was carrying around this "backpack" full of expectations and desires for a future husband. I was just in denial that I was doing it.

So, I "dumped out" my backpack, taking a look at all the things I was carrying around, some of which I thought were really big, but in the big picture of things weren't (i.e. A last name that sounded good with mine) and other things that I didn't give enough value that should have been huge (i.e. A family of his that I could genuinely love). I left that journal entry day asking God to put back the things in my backpack that He wanted to be there, and burn up all the others that wouldn't matter. And, nearly 12 months later, I can now say that I'm quite delighted with my new alliterative name, Leah Leach. It makes me giggle.

All that to say, that by the time I actually met Brad in February, God had already done such a work on my heart that meeting him was about as close to love at first sight as I think is humanly possible. I came home that night and took this picture (at top) so I could remember how I felt when I first met Brad.

I never thought that it could happen to me. My analytical mind often has me examining decisions and thoughts from every possible angle. (I thought that if I were Eve, I would've had to pray for several months to see if Adam was the man I was to marry.) :-) But God made the impossible not only possible, but truly a dream come true.

It's truly my prayer that He would breathe life into your dreams, resurrecting them from the ashes or tombs where they may be lying from long ago. Go ahead. It's worth the risk. Dream on.