Ignorant Pregnancy

Over these previous 9 months, I've found that pregnancy is a natural ice breaker for a variety of conversation topics, many of which I can honestly say I have never previously discussed in my life, nevertheless in public conversation.  While these can run the gamut from "Eeeewwwww," to "That's Just Beautiful!" one of the more entertaining conversations that has come up several times is in regard to women who did not know they were pregnant until they went into labor.

I had thought this was an urban legend, but indeed, it does happen, even enough that they actually made an entire documentary about it on the Discovery Health channel ("I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant," airs June 14, 10 PM . . . creative title, huh?).  

This has always seemed like a bizarre circumstance, but after going through pregnancy, I have to admit that it seems almost impossible to imagine going through this and not knowing why.  It does happen, though.  Morning sickness can be written off as the flu.  Some don't have much weight gain or if they do, they don't notice it.  I'm not sure how you can write off the movements in your tummy, but maybe it's thought of as bad indigestion???

In the midst of our conversation, one of my friends commented, "Well, at least you get to go through pregnancy without dealing with any of the waiting and not-so-fun parts," and while that's true, it's my opinion that having that happen would be way worse than anything that you feel during pregnancy.  I've learned that there's a reason why God gives you 10 months to prepare physically, mentally, and emotionally.  And any symptoms that do occur can be placed in the context of the season of pregnancy.  (i.e. I may be sick now, but I know it won't be forever, I don't have to worry about it, and at the end there will be new life.)

While it's really easy for me to think, "How could you possibly be so clueless as to not know you are pregnant?" I was thinking about it more last night and realized that my ignorance can be just as prevalent in some other areas of my life.  

So many times, I've found that God is working on creating a new thing in me, in my spirit, my heart, something that often takes time.  And it's usually something that I want, like more patience, humility, love, empathy, generosity.  The only thing is, that I would much prefer these beautiful "babies" to just be brought to my doorstep by the stork, rather than going through the process of actually growing them in my life.  

It's that growth process that can often be not so much fun with feelings of pain or discomfort or sacrifice, and these symptoms can create a very natural response of wanting to avert the process, or write them off as problems that I'd like to avoid and get over.  If I look at them through the lens and perspective of "pregnancy," however, realizing that God is generating and creating something that has never before been conceived, it somehow makes the process much more bearable and even enjoyable knowing that it will last for a season and at the end there will be new life.

So while this season of my first pregnancy may be coming to a close, I'm recognizing that God has been growing a lot more than just a baby inside of me.  And I pray that as our baby girl is born that He will continue to birth new life and growth inside my heart and spirit.