Oh No!

If you check my blog through bloglines and just tried to look at my last post before I was able to change the picture know that I still have no idea how that picture came up and it was not intentional. Hopefully no one else saw it, you're simply confused reading this post, and it's only me who is terribly disturbed . . . :(

I Am Noggin

So you might remember a post from a few weeks ago when I related the story of my fine, feathered friend affectionately named . . . Noggin. In case you were still curious, I thought you'd like to know that Noggin is still going strong . . . every day . . . over and over and over again against my window. I really don't even notice him much anymore until I see the pained look on the faces of visitors to my office for the first time watching the ornithological masochist bash himself on my glass. I introduce them to Noggin and then usually do pause to realize that it is quite remarkable that this bird has been at this since May 2006.

Maybe what's even more remarkable is that in many ways my "Nogginyness" continues. I continually find ways to forget what God has done in the past or worry about how I will get things done or live as if I am in control of my life and in each case, I'm only hurting myself when I do this. I've mentioned during these past several posts that we have our Vacation Bible School coming up a week from Monday (July 9-13). Even though I can clearly know that it was God who brought this together in the past and it will be God who will equip me and the other leaders to accomplish His good work, I still struggle with keeping that perspective on things. I get so caught up in trying to get everything done and I place so much pressure on myself that I let my life get out of balance, not taking time to rest, to do things I enjoy doing (like blogging . . . obviously), or simply being quiet to pray.

Maybe each time I hear the little "tap, tap, tap" (or painfully loud crash) on my window, I'll actually take notice of it again, remembering that "I am Noggin." It'll hopefully move me one step closer to flying on to a new way of living.

Wacky Words

So for whatever reason, my brain has been spending time thinking recently about how weird the English language is. It really doesn't make any sense and defies all logic.

For example:

• Why is "To" pronounced the same way as "two," but "No" isn't pronounced as "Noo?"
• Should I start pronouncing my name as "Lhah" if "Yeah" is pronounced the way that it is?
• "Hey" sounds completely different than "Key," yet phonetically they should be the same, right?

I guess my brain is resorting to some less than deep thoughts in the midst of my VBS planning. Any insights?

Mark 3:29

So my dad filled me in on this week on the most atrocious round of the Steeler rumor mill that I've ever heard yet. Bill Cowher . . . our beloved Bill Cowher . . . talking to the Panthers (not surprising), the Redskins (ok for at least my sister and brother-in-law), and horror of all horrors . . . the BROWNS! I'm pretty sure Mark 3:29 is an appropriate reference for this moment. Going to the Browns has got to be up there with blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. At least it's not the Ravens. That's the only way it could be worse.

Home Again, Home Again

So, I've finally returned from vacation. I was reminded once again about how much I love to travel. Here are a few reasons why:

• As I mentioned before, "veeeecation" was a big part of my childhood. So many great memories that I'll carry with me the rest of my life. I think travel was put in my DNA from an early age.
• I love the adventure of going somewhere that I've never been. New experiences definitely make me come alive.
• Travel gives me a healthy perspective on things. When you look at the ocean and it extends as far as you can see, and you actually try and count grains of sand in even a small handful, it's so clear that God is truly ginormous (to use the scientific term). :-) To Him, the ocean is like a swimming pool (Job 38:8-11) and the sand has already been counted. Apparently this perspective thing seems to run in my family. :-)
• I love being reminded that the world is so much bigger than the 50 or so people that I see each week. Again, it reminds me of the incredible nature of the God I serve. He knows each one as if they were the only person on the Earth, and each one probably feels as if they are the center of the universe. It reminds me of who I am as nothing more, and nothing less than a child of God.

It's always hard to come home from vacation, and I confess I felt some Sesame Street Live Syndrome on my way home.

For another interesting perspective, read what Mark Batterson has to say about travel here.

Veecation!

One of the happiest words in my vocabulary as a small child . . . "Veeeecation." (I seemed to have an issue with pronouncing words correctly.)

Anyway, I'm headed on vacation for the next week so I'll be checking out of the blogosphere until I return. I'll be back with lots of profound insights, I'm sure. :-)

Gettin' Giggy Wit It

So, I'm down to almost a month out from KiDZ GiG, the VBS at our church. I'm really struggling these days trying to maintain a proper perspective on the whole thing. I find whenever I'm planning something like this, it's really easy for me to get caught up in the "loud," urgencies of the logistics of the event and to neglect responding to the quiet voice of the LORD. When I do neglect that, I start to see myself with a distorted vision. I either get overwhelmed with fear at the thought of failure and letting others down or I get swelled up with pride and ego, thinking I am responsible for any "wins" experienced. Either way, I lose.

God's really been challenging me to spend as much time in prayer for this event as I do on working through the logistics. Clearly both sides need to be accomplished and one cannot be sacrificed for the sake of the other. My prayer is to maintain Mary's heart as I Martha through the next few weeks, doing the planning side with excellence as unto the LORD, without "getting distracted" with all the details of what has to be done. That would truly be a win.

Pableah Picasso

So when I was little, I received this super cool gift that brought much fun to bath time . . . soap crayons. I was pleased to find that these are still on the market today, bringing joy to thousands of children everywhere, I'm sure.

These crayons allowed us to draw on the wall and my mother actually encouraged it! Apparently, however, they are ONLY supposed to be used on bathroom walls. One time when we were at my Grandma's we used them on the walls in her hallway (I swear she said we could!) and although my mother never saw us actually drawing the masterpiece, it didn't take her long to see our fingerprints all over it.

I was recently reading through the book of Esther and found it to be incredibly interesting that it's the only book of the Bible that doesn't clearly use the name, title, or pronoun for God in it. Like my soap crayon masterpiece, however, God's fingerprints are all over the narrative. I love seeing all the "coincidences" like the King reading the annals of his kingdom because he couldn't sleep (Esther 6) and all the times when someone had "just entered" a room (Esther 6:4, 6:14, 7:8). Clearly, those were no coincidences.

I thought of all the times in my life when I may be going through a stressful time or crisis and it feels as if God is nowhere to be found. It is often in those times that I need to rest in my Trust of my Father and believe that there will be a time, just like Esther experienced, when I can look back at my trial and see His fingerprints all over it. I won't paint over those works of art on the walls of my life, but rather frame them as evidence of God's handiwork at all times, whether I can see it or not.

Early Riser

So it shouldn't be so hard, and yet every morning it's an overwhelming battle of my mind and body. I make the best laid plans to get up early, get some reading and studying done, get to work early, exercise, etc. and when the alarm goes off, all of my plans get chucked out the window because every ounce of my body wants to stay right there in my bed. I know I've been working on this for a while and though I've made some strides at some times, it appears as if I've now regressed into old patterns. Any suggestions on how to overcome?

Vision, Part 2

So I know this is a little delayed, but I thought it was still good to finish up some of my thoughts on vision from I Chronicles. If you missed the first post, you can catch it here.

As David was talking to his son about the vision for the Temple (I Chron. 28-29), I saw a couple points that I think are critical components of a God-given vision. David clearly says that it's nothing less than that (I Chron. 28:19).

1. Fear - This might sound like a funny component and it certainly shouldn't remain long, but I think that if there's not some element of overwhelming fear about the vision initially, it's probably not big enough. How many times does God command His people , "Don't be afraid or discouraged about the size of the task?" (I Chron. 28:20) I think God's vision for us should be such that we know we are doomed to fail unless He steps in. David reminds Solomon how the job will be done in vs. 20. ("He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the LORD is finished correctly.")
2. Bigger than Me - This goes along with the size of the vision. I think God will clearly equip us to accomplish it and that it usually will require other people and resources to be provided. David reminds Solomon, "Others with skills of every kind will volunteer, and the leaders and the entire nation are at your command" (vs. 21). God gives us a vision to bring Him glory and draw others to Himself, so it should be larger than just me.
3. Personal Sacrifice - Pursuing God's vision will cost us something, probably proportionate to the size of the vision. David told his people, "I am giving all of my own private treasures of gold and silver to help in the construction. This is in addition to the building materials I have already collected for his holy Temple" (I Chron. 29:3). Though our sacrifice may be great, I really like how Mark Batterson has said, "We cannot sacrifice anything for God." He's done so much for us, that there's nothing we can begin to do to compare.
4. Inexplicable Provision - If God gives the vision, clearly He will supernaturally provide for it. This section of Scripture ends saying, "The people rejoiced over the offerings, for they had given freely and wholeheartedly to the LORD, and King David was filled with joy" (I Chron. 29:9). One caveat that I would add to this is that it may not be in the time or in the way that we expected, but if God gives the vision, He will provide.

I was excited to read Pastor Jeff Leake's blog today that also talked about pursuing a God-given vision. Getting past that first step of fear can be a big adjustment for me, so I can't wait to hear his message about how to recklessly follow God.

Vision, Pt. 1

God's been really challenging me with a particular passage in I Chronicles over these past few weeks. Yep, you read it correctly. I Chronicles. Who knew?

I was reading about David's interaction with God, when He asked if he could build the Temple, and God very clearly answered by saying that David was not to build it, but his son, Solomon was to carry out this dream. What really struck me was when I started reading in I Chron. 22. David says:

"My son Solomon is still young and inexperienced, and the Temple of the LORD must be a magnificent structure, famous and glorious throughout the world. So I will begin making preparations for it now." So David collected vast amounts of building materials before his death." (v. 5)

David was clearly a man driven by a passion and heart for God. He pursued the promise God had given him about his kingship for years before it ever came to pass. The amazing part that I saw, however, was the way that David spent the entire last season of his life passionately pursuing a vision that he knew he would never see. It's one thing to pursue and wait and fight and plan for a vision that will involve and bless you. It's entirely another mindset to do so for something that you know you will never get to enjoy. You're doing all the work for someone else to eat the fruit.

And yet, David did just that. He poured himself into preparations for Solomon and constructing the Temple. He got his people ready for it, clearly pointing to Solomon as the next king (granted there were some complications with his other sons, as evidenced in I Kings), collected all the supplies for the Temple, and told Solomon exactly what to do with them.

I really think that this was one of the (if not the biggest) main reasons why the book ends with the statement, "So Solomon took the throne of the LORD in place of his father, David, and he prospered greatly, and all Israel obeyed him" (I Chron. 29:23). Sadly, I don't think Solomon ever grasped the concept of seeing beyond himself, and he died having everything and yet leaving a legacy that quickly led to the country being torn apart.

It's been a good challenge for me to remember that the dreams and visions that God plants on my heart are bigger than me. I may or may not see them to fruition. I still must be faithful to do my part, however, to pursue with all excellence and passion the role that He's given me in carrying out His Kingdom on Earth as it is in Heaven. I know I have been so blessed in ministry and my life thanks to the legacy left to me by my leaders in ministry and in my family. I pray I can do the same for generations to come.

Quarterlife Crisis

God's presented me with several unique opportunities over these past few weeks to speak to groups of women or individual women all at the same exciting and somewhat precarious season of life that I like to refer to as the quarterlife crisis.

I can't take credit for the term. John Mayer first coined it in one of his songs and there's actually been a best selling book written about the concept. I fully realize that some of you may hear about the term, laugh, and take out your tiny violins to play a sob song for the poor twentysomethings who have their whole lives ahead of them with no immediate responsibilities outside themselves. I have to say that in my personal experience, however, it's a very real thing, and one that I think the Church, as a whole, needs to address to the upcoming generation.

I chose this picture for this post, because I felt it really captured what the post-graduation feeling may feel like for many. We've been climbing the structured ladder of academia for the past 16 years, giving our all to get past the current grade level an onto the next. Expectations for success are clearly defined in syllabi, feedback on progress is constantly given in grades and comments from those leading you, a clear beginning and end goal is always in sight, and a community of peers is readily available for fellowship and friendship.

Suddenly, the top rung of that ladder is reached only to discover that all of those previously mentioned elements are now gone, and the "world full of possibilities" ahead is the very problem. The next rung of the ladder is unclear and the potential choices are so overwhelming that they are almost paralyzing in nature.

Some of this has always existed, but I think there are a few dynamics in our culture today that make this life phase even more distinct:

• We're more educated than ever before, having spent a lot of time and money to enter a very precarious job market. The value of a bachelor's and even master's degree in our job market is lessened with the large amount of prospects who have one or both of these.
• We're getting married later than before. Our generation can be referred to as "the children of divorce" who clearly sees what they do NOT want to do. The good news is, that not many people are rushing into marriage. The bad news is that many times this is resolved by living with one person to the next trying to find "just the right one."
• Because we're not pressured w/ responsibilities of providing for a family, we also switch from job to job and even career to career trying to find "just the right one." Often finding significance and enjoyment from a job is given just as much credence as salary and prestige.

The sad part that I see, is that all the answers that the world is giving only further lead to the misconception that if we can grab "just the right rung" on the ladder, we'll finally arrive at "the top" that we've been working towards our whole lives. I'm learning more and more that God is less concerned about me "arriving" anywhere, and most concerned about my climb with Him throughout my lifetime.

My heart is to see the Church embrace this season providing both spiritual and practical guidance on very real questions and decisions that need to be answered regarding a life's calling, marriage, friendships, and our relationship with Him. I've got a few ideas, but what are some of your thoughts?

You Know Life's Too Busy When . . .

I guess the first answer to this question is when you haven't blogged in nearly a week . . . bad Leah.

The second answer to this question, however, is when you find that you're conversing with your mother via blog. I was reading her blog this afternoon and found some reflections there that oddly enough, I had been pondering myself over these past few weeks. I thought I had talked to her about it, but apparently we both just thought of it on our own and found out about it on the blogosphere. And, to top off all the weirdness, it has to do w/ a passage in I Chronicles about a woman named Sheerah.

I have to say, however, that her insight on the woman is a lot better than mine. I couldn't get past the fact that He-Man's twin sister was listed in the Bible. Leave it to my mom to pull out Biblical Truth from the Princess of Power. :-)

Re-Entry

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was at a conference early last week and then took a few days of vacation to finish off the rest of the week. One thing I've learned through previous vacations is that I must plan on leaving a day at the end for re-entry. Every time I'm really tempted to stay in "vacation land" to the last minute, sucking up every last drop of no-responsibility bliss, and then on my first day back in the "real world" I feel as if I've just been hit with a 20-ton truck. So today, on my last day of vacation, I'm taking some time to wean myself back into real world land.

The conference was great. Lots of great speakers that were really challenging to both my ministry and personal growth. Francis Chan was especially one that got me thinking and chewing on a lot of new insights that God's been stirring up. Often I feel as if I leave a conference with more questions than I had coming in. I enjoyed the time with my team and pray that God would continue to grow the fruits of wisdom that He wants to nurture in the days ahead.

The technology fast was pretty healthy, too. Ok, so it wasn't a total technology fast, as I had my phone (which I either wisely or stupidly choose to receive e-mail on), but for the most part, I took a break from the Internet, and responding to the e-mails/voice mails that never seem to end. I love technology and all the different ways we have to communicate today, but I also think it's really healthy to step away from it every once in a while, too.

That being said, I must now finally go through that lovely Inbox, and rejoin the adventure where God has me right now.

Happy Mother's Day!

Somewhere in the world it's still Mother's Day, isn't it??? Regardless of the timing, I hope the sentiments are not lost. Don't you just love my zany mom and dad?!? :-)

There's a significant moment that happens in each of our lifetimes. For some, it occurs earlier than others. For me, it occurred sometime in my Freshman year of college. I will never forget it.

I was getting ready to call my mom about some minor crisis that was happening in my life, looking to see how she could offer just that right advice, perspective, and/or answers that would make everything all right like she had for the previous 18 years of my life. As I was getting ready to pick up the phone, the revelation enlightened my mind (and I'm pretty sure angelic music was playing in the background).

My mother is a person.

Pretty revolutionary, wasn't it? My mother had an existence outside of caring for me. She has dreams and feelings just like a real person, which means I should treat her like I would treat one of my friends, asking them how they're feeling, offering to help them, and not just going to them when I need something. It took me a few minutes to comprehend the full implications of this thought. If this was true, then this probably even meant that she had a whole other life before I was born! At this point, I had to sit down.

Funny as it seems now, it's really true that we have a tendency to think of "Mom" as "Mom," the one we go to when everything's wrong because she can somehow make everything right. And while my mother has been nothing but AMAZING at everything from helping with school projects to sewing new clothes to teaching me how to jump rope to holding my arms up when I just couldn't keep them up any more, she is also one of the wisest and most talented women that I've ever known.

Because my mom is so humble, most would not know that whenever she graduated from Penn State, she got a job in sales at Kopper's traveling around the country selling railroad ties, one of the only women nationally in that position. She did so phenomenally well at it that she won a prestigious sales award from the company (over all the other salespeople) and worked her way up to an executive position. She chose to walk away from the business world whenever I was born, trading in prestigious awards for often thankless service to her children who may or may not have realized that she was a person. :-)

If my mom ever thought twice about her decision, she's never let me know. I know her sacrifices have been great, and I can only pray that God rewards her tenfold for all that she's given to me and so many other people that she reaches through her ministry and writing.

Thank you, mom, for being such an example of Jesus. You truly are worth so much more than precious rubies (Prov. 31:10).

As Promised . . .

I mentioned a few posts ago about my youngest sister, Samantha, starring in Grove City's Production of Mother Goose, Incorporated. We got her song up on You Tube. I think she plays the part of a diva quite well. And she was this fantastic performing with mono!

I'm headed out to the Orange Conference in Atlanta tomorrow for a few days. It should be a great time to connect w/ people across the country and learn and pray more about family ministry. I'm also excited to enjoy the 80 degree sunshine for a few days. :-)

Wait!

One of my friends and co-workers, Laurie Kay, added the newest member to her family last night, Lauren Faith. Lauren was actually born about 5 weeks early, but for Laurie and all her friends and family, the wait was certainly a long one. Laurie has been on bed rest since January 1, and on hospital bed rest for the last two weeks! I shudder at the thought . . .

What really impressed me about Laurie Kay, however, was the way that she used this season of waiting. She could have complained, felt sorry for herself, and wasted it away, but every time I saw Laurie, she was nothing but positive, doing whatever she needed to do to bring forth this new little life. In fact, during these last two weeks in the hospital, I watched amazed as Laurie would listen to, care for, and share Jesus with nurses, doctors, or other patients who would come around her. I don't know of too many people who would forget being in labor in the hospital for two weeks, instead seeing it as an opportunity to be Christ for them.

Laurie exhibited to me a truth that God revealed to me about waiting a little while ago, one which I sadly need to apply better. I've never been one to enjoy waiting and all those verses about "waiting on the LORD" were really hard for me to take. As I was praying about this, however, God took me to some passages at the end of the Gospels and the beginning of Acts.

The disciples had an expectation and an understanding (though limited) of who Jesus was. They believed Him to be the Messiah, God's promised One, who would save them and deliver them from oppression (namely the Romans). So, when Jesus died, when they watched Him gasp His last breaths and they placed Him in a tomb, all their dreams, hopes, and expectations went with Him. We see the disciples huddled in a room, cowering in fear, doing nothing, waiting for some unknown revelation of what to do next.

That's where Jesus finds them, and suddenly, their entire world is turned upside down . . . again. He starts talking to them and they start connecting all those mysterious and obscure teachings that He had said and in a moment of divine inspiration, they begin to understand why He died and who He fully was. I would imagine they thought something like, "Wow! I get it now. He died and now rose again and surely NOW He will complete the whole picture by saving us from the Romans. Fantastic!"

Then He flies off into the sky. Who saw that coming?!?

And so, in Acts 1 & 2, we find the disciples once again huddled in a room, waiting for some unknown revelation, and while the scene seems all too familiar, it's entirely different. This time, the disciples were obedient to do the last thing Jesus told them (wait in the room for something called "the Holy Spirit"), but their waiting wasn't just sitting there twiddling their thumbs. It was a very active waiting, praying, worshiping, meeting, even picking a new disciple. They were committed to actively waiting there until God told them otherwise, and who knows how God used that time to prepare them for what was next.

I like how my Bible Dictionary defines waiting: "to stay, serve or attend to; to patiently anticipate." It's more like a picture of waiting as a server in a restaurant than sitting around doing nothing until the season of waiting is over.

And so, I pray that God gives me grace to stay and serve Him in a season of waiting or fulfillment, to patiently anticipate how I can best attend to His needs wherever He has me, trusting He'll make it very clear to move me on whenever He wants.

Laurie Kay, thanks for being such a picture of a Godly Waiter and congratulations on the way that God is moving you on to a new season!

School's Out!

I have the most glorious feeling about me . . . like the one I had the first week of June for a good 16 years of my life . . . school is over along with all the work and potential stress that can come with it. Because I'm not taking any classes over the summer, it feels like a legitimate summer vacation. All I have to do is work. Isn't it great?!?

Someone asked me what I was going to do to celebrate. I think I'll treat myself to relaxing tonight and watching a movie while I play a few games of Spider Solitaire. Ah, the simple things of life . . .

Soapbox

It seems like Spring and Summer are finally coming to Pittsburgh. It was a little touch and go there for a while, but it seems like the fifty degree days are getting fewer and fewer and we're getting closer and closer to upper sixties/seventies. This means that we are also getting closer to one of my most favorite aspects of the summer season . . . the fruit.

That is why I must step on my blogging soapboax and take the time to vent on a topic that is very near and dear to my heart . . . watermelon.

For many years now, watermelon has been my most favorite fruit. I think many would agree with me. It's juicy and sweet and colorful . . . yes, probably one of God's greatest creations in the Garden of Eden. The one issue that many would hold against watermelon, however, is the work that's involved eating it, getting around the seeds. A few years ago, I may have agreed. After seeing the agricultural answer to this problem, however, I must respectfully object.

In theory, the seedless watermelon would appear to be the best of all worlds. In theory, however, communism works.

These two pictures alone present a perfect, Exhibit A to my point. Just look at the seeded watermelon. It's so big that it cannot fit in the picture, filled with seeds, yes, but with so much more of the sweet, juicy goodness to enjoy. The seedless watermelon . . . well, is there any contest? Why the little sliver of the watermelon is almost the same size as the entire thing!

And the only thing you do have in that slice is the gooey stringy white seeds that everyone agrees are the worst kinds of seeds. When you add to that the fact that this new "fruit" costs 2-3 x's more than the traditional watermelon, it's the final straw.

Which brings me to my next point. Can we really even call the seedless watermelon a fruit? By definition it eliminates itself as being a seed-bearing plant. This oxymoron is the eunuch of the fruit kingdom.

And the truly sad part, is that you can't even find the good ole' fashioned watermelons anymore. The children of this generation won't even know that watermelons ever had seeds. They'll look at old patterns of kitchen wallpapers and ask, "Mommy, what are those black things in those watermelons?" Poor, deprived children.

Whew. I feel better now. It's good to spend so much time thinking about these life-changing issues, huh? :-)

2 Sides of the Coin

For those of you that don't know, I've got this thing for cows. My name means "Wild Cow" in Hebrew, and in middle school I decided that instead of being offended by it, I would embrace the cow and make it "my thing." So, when I came across this cow statue when I visited Salzburg, Austria a few years ago, I just couldn't help myself . . .

If you look at this cow carefully, however, you'll see it has a very special story behind it. Half of it is painted black and the other half is painted brown in honor of an actual cow that was used to save the fortress where it sits on top of the city hundreds of years ago.

The city was surrounded by an army whose strategy was: "surround the fortress until we can starve them out." They did a pretty good job of it, too. The city was down to one last brown cow to eat, but they didn't want to let the attacking army know. So, they proudly marched out the cow on the edge of the fortress one day, showing the army that they were a-ok. The next day, the townspeople took the same cow and painted it black, making it look like a different cow, successfully convincing the attacking army that they had a bountiful supply of food, resulting in a loss of patience on the part of the army. They packed up and went home. The city was saved with a cow.

I was thinking about this brilliant bovine as I have been praying and reading a lot about spiritual warfare over these past few weeks. God has empowered me, as His child, with all the authority that Jesus had, serious power to overcome any attack that could come my way. Power to breakthrough strongholds in my own life or in other people's. And yet, so many times, I think I fall for these pathetic ruses of the enemy, empowered with all this authority and power, and yet packing up and going home because I think I'm overpowered with "all" their resources.

I'm praying that God would reveal to me the Truths of His heart, that I may agree with Him to overcome the enemy and be a part of bringing His Kingdom here on Earth as it already is in Heaven.